


what the fudge is going on here?

by dorkslayer



Series: TRC+TFC crossovers [4]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic, Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Gen, a whole bunch of tiny ocs, he also curses a lot and that's a problem, premise: ronan is a little league exy coach
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-11 00:11:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12310794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dorkslayer/pseuds/dorkslayer
Summary: Ronan has a potty mouth and a gaggle of children that follow him around like ducklings. The two do not mix.(You do not have to have read AFTG or the other works in this series to read this. All you have to know is that Ronan is a coach of a little league sport.)





	what the fudge is going on here?

**Author's Note:**

> can you believe that while I wrote this my phone kept autocorrecting fucking to ducking? That's ducking ironic.

Ronan doesn't understand why any adult in their right mind would ever let him supervise a child, let alone multiple children, but here he is, in charge of a bunch of small, impressionable children with no way out. 

Opal is giving him a very unimpressed look from behind her helmet as Ronan stares down at them. Ronan knows that look. It's the one that says, 'you've fought demons. This is comparatively easy.' Gansey has the same look, and Ronan has long suspected that Opal had inherited it from him.

Their first practice is already going badly, and it's barely even started. One little girl gets so upset that she bursts into tears within the first five minutes, and her mom has to come pull her off the court. Ronan starts them off easy with some footwork, and he goes to gather up some of the equipment he bought (donated). 

Of course the day goes from bad to worse because he fumbles and drops a bunch of Exy racquets on his foot. 

He has the first syllables of an expletive past his lips when he realizes that there are little ears in the immediate vicinity. 

"SON OF A......biscuit." He finishes lamely. Opal stifles a giggle and the other kids are looking at him with wide eyes, as if they knew how close he almost came to blurting out what he was thinking.

Ronan drags a hand down his face and sighs. It's going to be a long season.

\---------------

The second time it happens is because Ronan has had it up to here with bickering children. Honestly, he would've thought he had a better tolerance for these things, having put up with Gansey for so long, but apparently any of his previous experiences don't apply to children.

They're yelling again. Why are kids always yelling? Opal doesn't yell half as much as these brats. Kaelyn and Michael are going at it at top volume. They're currently arguing about who's the best striker between the two of them (it's Kaelyn. Obviously. But Ronan can't just say that) and their volume has officially reached supersonic proportions.

Normally Ronan would just let them tire themselves out but he's got a migraine building behind his eyes and he hasn't had enough coffee yet to deal with this today. Also, he's realized that he sounds like a fucking middle aged woman and that is not okay.

"SHUT THE FU-" wait wait no "-dge up." 

It may not have been the word he wanted to use, but it certainly has the desired effect. Michael and Katelyn stop and stare at him with wide eyes. 

"No arguing with your own team on the court or we will have problems. Now go do your drills or I'll make you run suicides for the rest of practice." He threatens. They nod gravely and scramble for their respective racquets.

Ronan silently vows to never use the word fudge again. None of the people he calls friends would ever let him live it down, and he suspects Opal definitely won't.

\-----------------

The third time it happens is actually not for a bad reason. It's their first game and Ronan actually has faith in these little assholes, they've come a long way in the past three weeks and least three of the kids on the other team look ten seconds away from being sick.

In comparison Ronan's team looks like rabid dogs. They're a crazily competitive group who are way too excited for their first game. He's disgustingly proud. Two of them are in a corner screaming to get hyped up and the rest are obediently (or at least as obedient as kids can get) running a warmup lap.

The team gathers once more before the game starts and Ronan realizes that he's going to have to give them a fucking pep talk. Fuck.

"So uh. You guys don't suck quite as much as you once did, so that's nice." Shit shit shit why was this so hard, "Go out there, have a great time, and kick their sorry-" wait abort "butts. Kick their sorry butts." 

The kids don't seem to notice his almost slip up at all and they all loudly cheer, but Emily's mom is giving him a knowing side eye from off the court.

He heaves an inward grown and wonders how the hell he ended up like this.

\--------------

Ronan liked to think that he is untouchable, above the plight of average humans, and he certainly doesn't get worked up about little league sports.

Except that in the last few months that's changed, and now nothing gets him angrier than when a little league Exy referee doesn't know what they're doing. 

Adam is going to loose his shit when he finds out that Ronan has literally turned into a grouchy, middle aged white man. 

Kaelyn makes a fantastic shot on goal, not so gently knocking away a backliner, and a whistle blows. Ronan sees red. What blind ass ref couldn't see that her goal had been perfectly fucking legal? This ref apparently.

"What the hell was that you cun- jerk!" Ronan shouted, slamming one hand on the plexiglass wall. It was one thing to use extreme language with Opal, but it was something else entirely to use it in a stadium full of moms and their snotty kids.

The ref shot him a dirty look, but Ronan wasn't paying attention. Kaelyn had scooped up the penalty shot gone wrong and was about to score a goal that even the stupidest of refs couldn't argue on.

\--------------------

The first time Ronan had complained about having to lug a bunch of Exy equipment around in his BMW, Henry had suggested he get a mini van.

The subsequent fit of hysterical laughter had gone on for about ten minutes.

So whatever if his BMW wasn't a 'family car'? It looked fucking badass. He just had to deal with it constantly being full of warrior cats books and dirty socks. No big deal.

Their first away game of the year was in Richmond, and Ronan volunteered to drive the whole team up, which was a bit of a struggle to say the least. 

However, the half dozen screaming children in his backseat was nothing compared to the absolute idiocy of every other driver on the road.

As he swerved to avoid a merging semi yet again, Ronan started to regret all of his life choices. 

A zippy little sports care driven by a twiggy looking white guy with a man bun flew in front of him and Ronan slammed on the breaks.

"What the hell was that you mother....trucker." 

Opal sniggered from the backseat and Ronan shot her a glare in the mirror. This was why people didn't have kids, because they were complete assholes.

\--------------------  
+1

He would never ever admit it, but Ronan really did like being an Exy coach. However, it was nice to have days off. With the Barns being an actual farm now, and a reserved booth of his at the local farmers market, he had to spend a lot of time at home.

Today it was vegetable gardening, the last harvest of the year before the weather got too cold. So he and Opal were out back, plucking the last few tomatoes from their vine.

"Mother fudging bugs keep eating my stupid plants." Ronan grumbled.

Opal rolled her eyes at him through the bush. "You can curse you know Kerah. I'm the only one here."

"Holy fuck you are aren't you?" Ronan said, realization gripping him at last. "I can curse. I can fucking curse!"

He threw his arms up with a whoop and a couple of expletives for good measure, and promptly flopped straight to the ground. Opal came around the side of the flower bed and laid her head on his chest.

Ronan heaved a sigh.

Life was fucking good.

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts? Ideas? Want to get to know me? I'm on tumblr as draxomalfcy. Come visit!


End file.
